...

Well...I guess that's it huh. Not sure i've totally got it yet..but I'll get there. And it'll be okay. And we'll still be friends. Okay? Okay. Hopefully you actually believe me. I will be fine. You will be fine. We will be fine. And, friendlies. Anywho..........Yeah. Just wanted you to know that I won't hate you forever or anything. :)

Chillin.

I'm happy with today. I know, you told me you're not sure about me, but so what. I completely understand why. I'm just glad you told me (even if I pretty much had to make you tell me :P). I'm still not going anywhere until you tell me to. Look, all I'm saying is, you don't have to be sure (and as a sidenote, never ever feel like you have to say you love me.) For all I know, you could wake up tomorrow and decide I'm not the guy for you. But until that day comes, I'll stick with you. Any questions? No? Maybe? I'll be available if there are :)

That starbucks....

I'll always remember it's there. :) along with a host of other good memories...

The white boy.

And now I'm thinking about how in a way, I (along with other white males) can say the least, without someone, somewhere, getting mad, or feeling weird. Like, on the race front, because white people have gone and done all these stupid things (nobody remember the good things), we're kinda labeled as the most racist. So for example, if I say something to a brown guy, it's 10x worse than if another brown guy says it. And if they say something to a white guy, who cares. And then on the gender term. I'll use as an example. You call me 'hot' sometimes, and say you want shirtless Ryan. But, if I were to say you were hot, sure I'd be okay with that. But (all this is is an example, please don't take it wrong) to say I want shirtless Nancy, to me implies much more of a negative meaning......you understand what I mean...?

Ryan's girl...

It's just so, so, so, so, so perfect. It's exactly what I wanted, and I didn't even know I wanted it. You're amazing. I love love love love love you. Forever.

Oh yeah.

My only other regret, is that I said you looked "very nice," instead of beautiful (which I was thinking).

It was an interesting night.

I spent the first part of tonight in fear, and nervousness, about what would happen when I met your dad. What would I say? What would I do? More importantly, what would HE say? What would HE do? I managed to relax a little during the presentations, because I knew I wouldn't have to meet him yet. And then it was over. And I was scared out of my mind...but you took me away...and you made me the happiest boy alive. We were truly together, albeit, still with the threat of your mom walking in on us, and eventually the big group of people getting a tour, while we hid in the back. Despite all that, I felt..free..free to be with you, and not have to think about if your mom is looking or not. I have to say. I think the hugs that occurred tonight, were some of the best hugs I've ever experienced (not only the hugs, but all the contact we made) (the only competition being summer days). I also have to be honest. 1. I'm actually quite proud of myself..I felt progress being made..and it felt great. 2. I have one single regret. And it's a recurring one. In fact, it happened again and again this night. No matter how close we came, how much I wanted, or how simple it would've been, I did not kiss you. And after all the sudden progress I made, I really wanted to finish the night off with a kiss...but...well, you know what happened. I was unsure. That's my only regret about tonight. But anywho, I couldn't have done it without you Nancy. Thank you. I'll always love you. P.S. Your speech was great :) P.P.S. You really were jaw droppingly beautiful.